Chapter 4

I've changed my mind. I've decided I should describe Sarah. Last night, I went to a café with my brother, and I noticed something very interesting. The men there were in their twenties, though there were at least two there who were in their forties, while all the women, or should I say, girls, were in high school. It was obvious these girls were in their mid-teens, but all the men there - except for three of us - were flirting with them. This made me think about something my brother told me shortly after he arrived. He said the reason American women shaved their arm pits was because of America's obsession with pedophilia. If you consider American men's obsession with not only shaved armpits, but shaved crotches and women having extremely thin, shapeless bodies, it becomes clearer that American men do have an obsession with pedophilia. Why else would they want their women to look like little girls? Now, I'll be the first to admit that I do prefer women to have shaved armpits. And shaved legs. I'm not sure if that is cultural or some semblance of pedophilia on my part, but at least I do prefer my women to have some sort of shape. I like round full hips and bottoms, and large breasts, and some tummy. I find that sexy. Donna of course is over-ample in all those departments. So that's what I think Sarah should look like (not to the extreme of Donna, but more modestly rounded). Sarah looks like a woman, thinks like a woman, and acts like a woman.

That's probably another subconscious problem Michel has with Sarah. Like most American men, he's more than a bit pedophilic. He'd prefer Sarah to be slimmer, and he doesn't understand the way she thinks or acts. He still acts too much like a child: taking everything too serious, throwing fits whenever he cannot have his way. In different circumstances, he'd make a perfect dictator. Dictators are full-grown children with immense power. Hugo Chavez is currently the most obvious child in power, though Barack Obama is little better, only his power is kept in check by our republican system of government, which keeps the damage he can do minimized. But we've seen the results of both him and the Republican House of Representatives throwing fits over not being able to have their own way. I remember back to Clinton. who bombed Iraq whenever he had a problem, and the House Republicans impeached Clinton because Clinton wouldn’t go along with them. This is not to say I agree with perjury and obstruction of justice. I don't. But it’s not enough to overthrow an election. Especially what he lied over. It turns out, at least, that there were some adults in the Senate.

But Michel is not in power. At least, there is little chance of him getting political power. He plans to be a writer. Of course, many could consider this a position of power, especially those mimeticists who don't think people can tell the difference between reality and fiction and so could potentially (and dangerously, to their minds) be moved by the words and emotion in a work of fiction. Of course, they do have a point to an extent. Voltaire helped cause the French Revolution with Candide. Ayn Rand reformed American Conservatism and planted the seeds for modern libertarianism with Atlas Shrugged. Milan Kundera helped cause the student protests that unfortunately led to Prague Spring with The Joke. But at this point in his career, I don't think we have much to fear from Michel. He's not a very good writer yet, though Sarah is trying to help him become one. Probably, by the time she is done with her influence, he will be on the road to becoming worthy of exerting influence, though I doubt it will be on the scale of any of the three novelists I mentioned above.

But let's get these two characters together. Right now I see them sitting together in a restaurant. Mediterranean, I think, because I love Mediterranean. They've finished going over a story, his "Reciprocation," and a number of her poems. I'm thinking in addition to fiction, she probably writes poetry as well. Today she brought poems. He had few problems with her poems, but she had many of the same complaints I had with his story. Now they're finished working on their writing, and are eating and talking.

Michel is cutting his gyros into smaller pieces, then letting the tahini sauce drip off the meat before putting it in his mouth. He likes mixing the rice with the leftover tahini sauce and hummus when he's finished eating his gyros. Sarah has a plate of baba ganoush and is eating it with wedges of pita bread.

"This is good," Sarah says. "Have you ever had baba ganoush?"

"No. It looks like hummus, only gray."

"It's made from eggplants, and it sort of tastes like hummus, only better. You want to try some?"

"Sure." Sarah scoops up some baba ganoush with a piece of pita bread and feeds it to him. "Mmmm. Good. You wanna bite of my gyros?"

"No, thanks. I got this because today is vegetarian day for me."

"Trying to lose weight?"

"No. Just trying to live healthy. Why? Do I look like I need to lose weight?"

"I didn't say that."

"You should think of doing something like that."

"What? Losing weight?" He didn’t think he needed to lose weight.

"No. Having a vegetarian day. It'll make you feel better. It gives your body a day to clean itself out."

"I think you're trying to lose weight. I haven't met a woman yet who thought she was thin enough."

"I'm not every woman. I'm happy with the way I look."

"You'd be the first."

"All women aren't like that, Michel."

"I didn't say I was complaining. I like thin women."

"Well, you're not going to get a thin woman here. I like being big enough to have breasts and hips."

"Now don't get me wrong, I like breasts..."

"I'm sure you do. But women aren't just breasts, either."

"I didn't say they were."

"Then why don't you speak to my face instead of my tits."

Michel blushes. "Sorry."

"That's my point, Michel. You really don't think of women as human beings, as your equals. That's the main problem with your stories. You need to write a story that has a strong female character so you can practice writing women. Who knows, you might even learn to see us as people."

"I see you as people."

"I know you see me as people now, but it's taken you a while."

"Well, maybe there's a good reason for it."

"And what reason would that be?"

"I'll be honest, I really don't care much for people..."

"Well, neither do I, but I don't let that prevent me from creating rounded male characters," Sarah said.

"But I do care about you." Michel looks down at his food, avoiding her eyes.

"Excuse me?"

Michel takes a bite, chews it, swallows, and looks back up at Sarah. "Why did you want to keep meeting with me when everyone else decided to quit?"

"I like having someone give me feedback on my work."

"Okay."

"You don't believe me?"

"I didn't say that. I believe you. I'm sure that was part of it."

"What? You think I like you or something?"

"Do you?"

"You're an asshole, a misogynist, and you get on my nerves."

"So why didn't you leave with the rest of them?"

Sarah looks down at her food now. "I don't know."

Sarah's right. She doesn't know. Or, to be honest, she does know, but she doesn't want to admit her feelings for Michel. How could she, a good feminist, be interested in a misogynist like Michel? Maybe she thinks she can change him. I hope not. I hope she's smarter than that. I'm not saying Michel won't change, because everyone changes over time. But few people have set out to change someone and actually succeeded the way they wanted. And why should Sarah be any different from anyone else? Or, more accurately, why should Michel be any different?

This is not to say that Michel and Sarah are like everyone else. They’re not. And if they were, we wouldn't have a story. You can't have a story about everyman. You have to have individuals. But at the same time, they are both humans, and humans tend to have similar traits. This is what make economics and the social sciences predictive. If people didn't act in certain ways fairly consistently, they could be easily molded to fit anyone's desires. But centuries of utopian experiments have proven time and again that humans can't be molded this way, because of the combination of humans' similarities with their unique tastes. Utopia is not an option, because people are always involved.

But I'm going to have to cut off my musings once again, and leave Michel and Sarah sitting in the restaurant to deal with the hints each has given the other regarding their feelings. It's 2:30, and I have to get ready for work.